How It Feels To Be A Covid-19 Bride
People say that there are a lot of hiccups when planning a wedding, but no one said that a global pandemic would be one of them.
It’s kind of strange to think that in 20 days I would be walking down the aisle, surrounded by our friends & family celebrating what should have been, the biggest day of mine & my fiance's life.
I’d be lying if I said that planning a wedding for over 300 people is easy.. That coupled with two separate religions, two language barriers and trying to find a middle ground to keep us all happy, is somewhat stressful.. But it worked out perfectly & I could just about visualise exactly how our day would be.
We found our venue shortly after getting engaged in 2019. As soon as we secured our deposit, everything just fell into place. Next it was the decor company and then the catering, DJ and all the other bits that come along with planning a wedding (a post for another day).
Once we had secured our deposits, then came the time to look for my bridal outfit. I found my dream wedding outfit whilst shopping with my mum & dad, (this was a super cute moment I’ll cherish forever), and I think that that was the moment I thought, “Shit, this is really happening,” (in an, excited, scared, I’m still a big kid and need my mum, type of way).
*Inserts picture of me looking a hot mess but in a very beautiful Sabyasachi piece that weighed more than me... A girl can dream right?*
My beautiful bridesmaids had planned TWO amazing hens; one in the UK & one in Marbella (they’re the ultimate girl gang) and tbh as nervous as I was, I was ready to go out with a bang & get the celebrations started.
It was approaching 28th March, (my UK hen), and I kept hearing about Coronavirus on the news. I knew it was bad but I didn’t really understand how it was going to pan out. We decided to cancel the hen because what’s the point in risking everyone’s health?
Then the week after (early April), it all spiralled out of control. I was sent home from work with a laptop in my hand and told to wfh until I heard otherwise. I honestly thought it would be 2 weeks max.. Boy was I wrong.
The next thing I knew, a lockdown was approaching, the news was out of control, and we were stuck in the predicament of whether to continue with our wedding or try to rearrange it, not knowing when this would truly all blow over. We were kicking ourselves for not taking out wedding insurance, (cannot stress this enough for future couples), and we were basically stuck trying to decide what to do.
My other half really didn’t want to change the date and I guess for me, that made things slightly more difficult. He’s an optimist, (one of my fave traits of his), & was so sure this would all be over by May, so it took us a few weeks to finally agree to postponing.
Our family and friends, as always, were so supportive and it really softened the blow for us. Some of the messages I’ve received these past few weeks, are ones which I’ll never forget.
One by one we contacted our suppliers. We’re incredibly lucky that they have been so accommodating towards us & my heart goes out to them, at what should be, their busiest time of year. I’m so grateful we haven’t experienced the horror stories that some couples have faced; with being unable to change their dates & companies holding their deposits. I still can’t believe businesses would take advantage at a time like this.
Everyone kept on asking how I felt about it all. If I'm being brutally honest, I didn’t really allow myself to feel anything. I told myself I didn’t have time to feel. We both work alongside the NHS so how could I even think about planning a wedding, when we’re both working in a really tough time and the world around us is struggling? What do I have to complain about?
It has taken me just over a month to realise that I am entitled, like all the other couples, to feel disheartened and quite frankly pissed off at life, for the time & money we've invested so far. I feel like a little kid who has just been handed an ice cream & it's dropped to the floor... I’m also allowed to feel angry, but what I’m not allowed to do, is let my emotions drag on. I’ve had a good cry and I’ve gotten over it. When my abroad hen got cancelled I was gutted, but I knew it was coming. (Note to self: turn off countdown apps!!)
I’ve spent the past few weeks telling myself that the month of May is going to be a right off... But I’ve realised it’s just another month for things to get better.
As a control freak, I can’t control what is happening in the world. What I can control is keeping my nearest and dearest safe, because what could possibly be more important than that?
I feel really sad knowing that when I look back at our wedding in years to come, corona will always overtake a large part of my memories. However, one advice to all brides to be, is to remember that everything happens for a reason. I really believe in signs, and this is a sign that for my other half and I, right now is not the time for us. I trust God’s plan & I will always cherish this time being at home with my family, because I won’t ever get this time back. As an Indian bride, leaving home is going to be one of the hardest things I ever have do, so this time is beyond precious to me.
And honestly... My wedding dress is stuck abroad & can there really be a wedding without a dress?!
For every “bride to be” reading this, I hope you are surrounded by a good team to help you find a new date for your special day. We have now changed our date twice, and if this continues, we’ll change it again, until we eventually get to have our turn of walking down the aisle. I hope you know that this means that we have more time to plan our dream wedding and more time to make it the most memorable day possible. It will be even bigger & better when the time comes.
Thinking about becoming a bride is overwhelming and emotional, but use this time to appreciate that your life will be transitioning into this new, exciting chapter. When the time finally comes, you will both appreciate it just that little bit more and party just that little bit harder.
Sending so much love to all the couples out there,